And it was just yesterday that it dawned on me... as of this year, the boys and I have lived here longer than we have lived anywhere since their dad left 8 years ago. Now for those of you who are new to the Lee and Michelle saga; we were separated for three years, and had even married other people during that separation. The past decade has been wild in the extreme sense of that word.
Allow me to illuminate.
1996- Mom and Dad finish their house on the hill, and Lee and I buy their old place from them...our first home! It wasn't much, but it was ours... plus 7 acres on which we had fabulous gardens each summer.
1997- graduated from college, got my first teaching job. Things were good. That $1200 seemed like a fortune to a gal who hadn't been working a real job...didn't take long for me to figure out how little money that really was. But '97 was a good year.
1998- Aidan was born. Complicated pregnancy, baby in NICU, not good. However, he ended up being healthy as a little tiger cub. After a week in NICU, we took him home. And he officially became a part of Clan Johnson.
1999- In March I discover that my contract won't be renewed thanks to a student taking my words completely out of context, me not knowing my rights, and a corrupt administration in Sperry Public Schools. So, bye-bye paycheck. In June, Lee begins his affair with the band groupie who he will later leave us for in July. In August I get hired by NSU and move to Sperry, (yes the same piss hole town that fired me) so that Devan can stay in school there and not have to tranfer to a Tulsa school. On the bright side...I lost 50 pounds between August and December...yep, happens when your heart is ripped out through your stomach. Can't hold down a thing.
2000- Rang in the New Year with friends, who were fabulous to me through the whole Lee experience. Bought new size 6 clothes to wear on my new skinny bod. And moved to a new, extremely kick-ass home that my dad had procured for me in one of his land grabs. A beautiful 2 bedroom home in the country sitting on the most beautiful 2.5 acres complete with a stream that ran throuhg my property. It truly was a blessing. I spent my week vacation from NSU moving my entire household. That week, I discovered that even though I lived close to the town of Sperry, we didn't live in Sperry School District...we lived in Sand Springs. So one day during my move, I go to enroll Devan in SSPS. As I was waiting for the secretary to come back from lunch, I was looking at the bulletin board and saw a notice for an English teacher position in their district. I called the number listed, and was granted an immediate interview. I drove to the junior high (it was for 9th grade English), interviewed in my cut-off shorts and wife-beater t-shirt, and got the job, under one condition- I must pass the Speech, Drama, Debate certification test. No Problem!!! So began my career at SSPS, and so ends 2000.
2001- Until now I haven't mentioned Lee and his coming and goings. For the past 2 years at this point, he has been in and out of the picture. He would come stay with me and the boys for 2-3 weeks, then vanish again. After his last attempt to come home in 2000, I vowed to end it with him. He was only coming back because I was allowing it. So when I went to Seattle that summer to see my friend, Shelni, I took with me items to represent the things that I wanted to rid myself of. I envisioned myself throwing those objects into the Pacific Ocean and leaving them behind forever. My vision could not even come close to how that really played out. Needless to say, the trip was the most magical and I LOVE THE GREAT NORTHWEST!!! Three weeks upon my return home, I met Joel Jackson. And he and I fell hard and fast into our doomed relationship. Because even though I had decided to leave Lee on the Olympic Peninsula, that did not mean that I didn't still love him with my entire being. But that first rush of hormones when one falls for another is a powerful aphrodisiac, and I truly thought that Joel was the one to replace Lee in everyway. He wasn't. We move into his house in September.
2002- In spite of nagging doubts, I marry Joel. We were already having problems, but I was afraid to be alone again. The single mom thing was HARD, and Joel's family was well off financially. Our wedding present from my mom and dad...coffee mugs. Our gift from his parents...a new house in a NICE neighborhood. I couldn't believe it!! We move-in in March, and by July are already talking separation. I should have known that a single man of his age HAD to have problems...I wasn't even half prepared for what life with Joel would be like. He hid so much about himself from me and had lied to me about so many things, that as they came to the surface, I was extremely angry. Then he refused marriage counceling...I felt trapped and resentful. The boys suffered at home. Can you imagine being 3 and 9 years old and having to tip-toe around an angry bear all the time? But Joel's parents were the grandparents that dreams are made of. They LOVED my sons and treated them as if they were their own. For that reason I stayed. I absolutely could not rationalize taking them away from such loving people.
2003- Early in the year, I get a call from Lee. He is leaving his wife. We start talking again, but I am keeping him at a safe distance. Things with Joel are worse. He rages or sleeps. There was no middle. And he knew how much I really wanted out. Miserable. I was miserable. And still in-love with Lee. In September my friend Shari calls and tells me that Lee has left the band groupie and is living at Dan's house. She says that he talks of nothing but wanting to have his family back, but doesn't wish to mess up what I have, and doesn't want to bring chaos into the boys lives anymore, so he doesn't call. And even though Dan is a dear friend of mine, because Lee is there, I won't call or go over. I was terrified of seeing him in that context. It was different when he was picking up the boys as their non-custodial parent, but as a single person again, and a single person with interest in me...AAAGHHH!!! So we go for 10 weeks without so much as a phone call. We were both terrified of contact. Our feelings for each other were still so strong, that we both knew if we saw or spoke to each other...that would be it. Thanksgiving Break arrives and as a favor for my brother, I agree to go to Dan's to pick up provisions for our trip up home. I pull up in front of the house, and Lee steps onto the porch. The rest is history. I go home that night and tell Joel that I am leaving. I was still -in-love with Lee and couldn't be with him anymore. In December the boys and I move-in with my sister Amy.
2004- Lee joins us in Terlton at Amy's. We spend Jan.-May at her house living in Lizzie's old bedroom and having a spectacular time becoming a family again. Amy had never really known Lee that well before, due to her and Bob living so far away. She was surprised to say the least. And you just have to know Lee to know why. He is a riot. Acts a lot like my dad and my brother...so they got along instantly!! In May we move into the house that dad had "set-up" for us. That ended badly. Come to find out, Dad had been making bad, alcohol induced decisions again, such as having an affair with a crank whore, and had nearly ruined him and mom financially. And the home that he "sold" us...did not belong to him. The people who did own it demanded to have it back, and so we had to find a new home. We ended up about $15,000 dollars in debt due to that fiasco, and I was VERY pissed off at my dad. But we ended up here...back in Skiatook. We figured since we could live anywhere we wanted, why not move back home. Lee's family is from here and this is the town that I ended up in when I was in high school. Graduated from here and everything. So we find a house for rent and move.
2005- We discover that this home is for sale. We begin the long and arduous journey of procurring financing. But in July I realize that in order to come out from under the $15,000 in debt, (which by this time,thanks to interest, was now like $22,000) I needed to file for bankruptcy. All the loans were in my name, so Lee's credit was not affected. But he was still climbing out of the deep hole that he had dug for himself while on his own, so financing this home would have to wait. My mom filed for a divorce and my dad's slide into the deep accelerated. In November he was hit and killed while crossing the street in front of St.John's hospital. I went dormant...couldn't really deal with much other than sorting through my feelings towards my dad and how his alcoholism had destroyed our family...over and over and over again. Interestingly, Lee and I become closer than ever. As I went into shut-down mode, he takes over and becomes a better and stronger man than I have ever known.
2006- Stability. A foriegn word to me. And I mean that in every sense. I never had it growing up and really thought that I didn't deserve it. On 06-06-06, we received the worst news ever...Jimmy Lee Johnson, Lee's dad, and one of the most wonderful people I have ever known, was dead. And although the greif was great and our lives were forever altered, his departure ended up being the catalyst for us. Not only did Lee's development as a conscious being, who wished only to be the man that he dad had been, really kicked in, but his dad had left this world with a number of large insurance policies. Lee's mom was financially better off than she ever had been before. In August, my friend Pam called and suggested that we try to get financing through her mortgage company. I tell her it probably wasn't possible...I wasn't even a year out of bankruptcy. But she needed practice and so we were her guinia pigs at her new job as a loan officer. After weeks of trying numerous combinations of filings, she finds a lender who will finance us. Lee's credit had improved enough in the past year to get the loan without me, and his mom promised to help us with the down payment.
So my children, here we are. We close in less than 3 days, and for the first time since I was 5 years old, I finally feel safe. My life has been a wild ride, and I am sometimes amazed at where I am, So as you can see, what may be an insignificant event, buying a tract house in a middle-income neighborhood in a hick Oklahoma town, is like the most incredible thing that has EVER happened to me.
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